conversations with possessed computers

Hijacked accounts and zombie computers are a significant threat to the grammar police all over the everywhere.

handy infographic

If someone sends you a link via some kind of chat medium, I suggest perhaps ‘Are you a cheese?’ as a call/response HUMANPERSON test.  If they respond that they are indeed a cheese, or ‘eeeeeeeeee’, or ‘what are you talking about you moron, have you even LOOKED at the hilarious kittens yet?’ then they probably are a real person sending you nonsense of merely dubious provenance.

I make no guarantees.

INURCOMPUTER: what’s up?
me: huh?
INURCOMPUTER: hahahaha, I’m in SHOCK right now..
me: are you an exciting virus? how exciting.
INURCOMPUTER: http://www.plep.com/rapingURcomputer – WOW use that real quick and tell me its not crazy..
me: oh I don’t think so.
INURCOMPUTER: they are soooo right! lol what’s it saying for you?
me: cheese spoon banana!
INURCOMPUTER: plz u have to tell me, fill it out..I have to know if your results were as crazy as mine lol
me: no thanks
INURCOMPUTER: ur missing out these songs are HOTT!!!
me: go away little virus bot.
INURCOMPUTER: no problem! PEACE!!
INURCOMPUTER: hey, are you still there?

(no.)

INURCOMPUTER: hey tiff, hope you had a great presidents day off yesterday!!
me: if I was one of them ‘merkins I might have.
me: how are you?
INURCOMPUTER: I want you to try something real quick
me:bong bing spam bam
INURCOMPUTER: okay tiff, take this quiz and see what you score.. I can’t get over like a 110, its ridiculous http://imnotreallyaquizhahaha.plep, sally scored like a 112 and I’ve been trying to beat them!!
me:what a cheeky little scammer you are
me:how rude
me:if I was a cheese what kind of cheese would I be?
INURCOMPUTER:lemme know what ya get plz

(no.)

INURCOMPUTER: hey, I just scored 112 on My IQ test, this is supposed to be really accurate. Tell me what you get http://BRAINZTEST.US

(no.)

INURCOMPUTER: hey there…

(no.)

INURCOMPUTER: hey cutie

(no.)

INURCOMPUTER: hey there…

(no.)

URLs have been obfuscated for the protection of the innocent/idiotic.

3D Text Tower with MOAR 3D with MAGIC! (CSS)

If you are in internet explorer this post will look very dull indeed. Get a different browser, you crazy fool!

So, the various lovely things that can be done with the CSS3 property text-shadow, whilst still lost on Internet Explorer users, are definitely still worth playing with.

David Desandro’s 3D Text Tower effect, as popularised by Chris Coyier is pretty darn cute.

It’s not just for 3D effects though..

Woo! I’m glowing!

text-shadow: 0px 0px 5px rgb(223,19,37);
font-size: 4em;
font-weight:bold;

Back to the 3D – I wonder if I can make it MOAR 3D, I thought.

POW!

color:rgb(223,19,37);
text-shadow: 1px 1px #777, 2px 2px #666, 3px 3px #555, 4px 4px #444, 5px 5px #333,6px 6px #222;
font-size: 8em;
font-weight:bold;

ZAP!

color:rgb(223,19,37);
text-shadow: 1px 1px #999, 2px 2px #666, 3px 3px #555, 4px 4px #444, 5px 5px #333,6px 6px #222;
font-size: 8em;
font-weight:bold;

WHOOSH!

color:rgb(223,19,37);
text-shadow: 1px 1px #333, 2px 2px #333, 3px 3px #444, 4px 4px #444, 5px 5px #555, 6px 6px #555;
font-size: 8em;
font-weight:bold;

Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.

Upgrading from 2.x to 2.6.1

I admit it, I am a bad person. I am a foolish person. I let my wordpress install lag behind on leekworld.

I encountered a bit of a bug all of a sudden with advanced-cache, and decided to upgrade rather than work around it – I was on WordPress 2.2.

Utter disaster.  I tried all sorts, but the upgrades just wouldn’t take.  I reconfigured my wp-config file to have all the post 2.5 stuff but it just wasn’t having it.

I’ve lost the Qwilm! theme as well. I loved that theme. I had tinkered with it and it made me happy.  I think I may have to make a new one just like it. This one’s just plain vanilla right now. I’ve taken the big header image off and added a bigger logo bit. It’s growing on me.

Moral of this story: Obviously, don’t let your site software get madly out of date, and don’t just back up your database and files, export all your stuff to xml or other useful format – so if it really really goes tits and you just can’t save it, you can start again without having to get your old site from backups, export to xml, delete it all and start again. Tedium.

painting websites

I’m really liking the whole mixed media thang at the moment. Created a couple of watercolour headers that display based on GMT sunrise and sunset. Never realised PHP had sunrise/sunset functions, you larn a new thing every day, huh?

Still very much WIP, but I’m loving the paint. I’ve gone all painty.  I painted the cats and the landscapes separately, so I can move ’em about. Taking photos of the paintings with a K850i is perhaps less than ideal however – I think I need to get a scanner working..

Pink Paws NightPink Paws Day

dojo master regexp your arse, glasshoppa!

Dojo Toolkit and Regexp monster child runs amok. Citizens terrified. Where will it stop??

I want to put ‘>=2 ‘ in a combobox.

Dojo master say no.

In fact, it seems to be escaping any even vaguely ‘dodgy’ characters. I can’t put < in, fair enough. I can’t put & in. I tried ‘<‘ even. It converts that to & lt; but it won’t resolve anything with an ampersand in either.

This bug, and yes I say it IS a bug, is bugging the arse off me.

bloody wordpress is at it too! Leave me the hell alone! What is wrong with you people?!?!

xubuntu vs ubuntu – battlefield: antiques roadshow

xubuntu how I love thee.. let me count the ways.

 Now don’t get me wrong, Ubuntu is marvellous.  Point and shoot wondrousness, especially good for putting on the PC’s of those that wot not a lot.  I have however been swearing and crashing about a fair bit recently, trying to fudge some working things out of the PC graveyard that clutters my house. For old and manky PC’s, you can’t beat xubuntu.

On various kludged old PC’s, I found that the xubuntu install went much more smoothly and quickly, notwithstanding the obvious benefits the light desktop has on the final effort.  Even things that afaik shouldn’t be any different.. Perhaps I am imagining it.  I’ve even cleaned off one Ubuntu install and replaced it with Xubuntu – even after I replaced Gnome post install it just still isn’t as neat. Problems with shutdown and all sorts. These machines are on the ragged edge of the min requirements.. I have admittedly been a self declared hardware-o-phobe for many years now, and never have much got into Linux other than randomly installing it a fair number of times, fighting with configuration files and irritating command line Stuff (terrible allergies have plagued in that area for some years), deciding it just didn’t have what it takes to be a useful alternative and wandering off somewhere else for a while, gibbering quietly.

I just haven’t been able to get my geek on about it.

What with the promise of super cheap desktops (especially the wal-mart teeny form factor $200 ubuntu based desktop, oh I drool and plan many mad implementations..) and an OS that works well enough that you can just get on and play with the fun bits, my geek is stirring.

Oh yeah, and an OS you can dish out to the relatives without the horrible knowledge of impending malware clearing DOOM. Shiny.

gmail conversation view (hell)

Great for chatting with your mates, utter utter hell if you are trying to use it for business.

For instance, I am trying to repair a knackered timesheet for some freelance work. I just want to see all the relevant mails by date. Can I do that? Not on your nelly. I have to go through EVERY CONVERSATION to see if there are emails for the relevant dates, or maybe I just do a search for each individual day? Howwww tedious! utter utter madness.

you can suggest that google stop being completely psychotic here.

losing the will.

if only it came in ecru..

I suppose I shall start this not even alive yet collection of gibber and nonsense with a mini rant regarding templates.

I’m not knocking them, oh no. I’d just like to come to the realisation that they are utterly pointless. It’s a bit like gambling, I suppose. The next one I find will be perfect, and it will save me a marvellous amount of time that I can use to do other marvellous things. This never ever happens. I find a template that is almost like something I would want.. then I spend hours and hours swearing at the obtuse markup, changing all the colours, re-jigging the design and recreating all the images. This is happening right now.

I’m just addicted to the idea of an easylife(tm).