..because nothing says ‘I love you’, ‘I buy love’, ‘Now you can be online FOR ME ALL THE EVERY DAY’, ‘my heart, soul and brain have been eaten by consumerism’ and ‘If you ever ever leave me I will hunt you down whilst sniffing articles of your clothing and post CDs with me singing every breath you take (naked) on through your door’ like a wifi enabled (crap) laptop with optional webcam..