A film where absolutely nothing happens in a quite spectacular fashion. In tiny sailor outfits. With swords. Sometimes explosions. AND DRAGONS. Murdered dragons.
edit 14th March 2013: A bit late to the party for Tropes vs Women in Video Games Kickstarter by Anita Sarkeesian, and in fact never knowing about her excellent blog/webcast series Feminist Frequency. I had a wander through her archives and noticed this review of Sucker Punch. I also note from a bunch of the links that people are trying to say that Zach Snyder really really tried to make an empowered female character, he really did. I’m confused. How is an two hour rape fantasy that culminates in a lobotomy empowering? Please tell me because I missed some nuance somewhere, obviously. Maybe it was under one of the murdered baby dragons. As a side note, I am feeling shamed by my paltry output.
Frank Miller reference FYI (this image is all over the interwebs, I’ve no idea who to attribute it to).
Here are some handy tips on working in a letting agents I have deduced from my experiences as a landlord.
First – know your competition
My letting agent’s recruitment process:
Go to Renoirs, get drunk
Canvas women with leggings and high heels, find unemployed ones
Ask a series of challenging questions such as
if your trousers are on fire do you
a: piss yourself
b: polish your nails and blame men for all the ills of the world or
c: email someone to quote for fire retardant hats
Declare that they are all hired and pass out in a pool of vomit.
Once you are hired
What, you want more? There’s nothing to it! Sit around and answer the phone occasionally. There are loads of people to blame your shortcomings on, and the landlords will eventually tell you what needs to be done with handy bulleted lists. Sometimes people might get narky but that’s just the way the industry works. Enjoy!
I then left it in it’s little box for a while after the initial enthusiasm was side-tracked by puppies or kittens or head trauma or something. Looking at it again, and comparing it to all the lovely I AM THE FUTURE bleeding edge of cool sites out there now my design blends in to the crowd.
Hijacked accounts and zombie computers are a significant threat to the grammar police all over the everywhere.
If someone sends you a link via some kind of chat medium, I suggest perhaps ‘Are you a cheese?’ as a call/response HUMANPERSON test. If they respond that they are indeed a cheese, or ‘eeeeeeeeee’, or ‘what are you talking about you moron, have you even LOOKED at the hilarious kittens yet?’ then they probably are a real person sending you nonsense of merely dubious provenance.
I make no guarantees.
INURCOMPUTER: what’s up?
INURCOMPUTER: hahahaha, I’m in SHOCK right now..
me: are you an exciting virus? how exciting.
INURCOMPUTER: http://www.plep.com/rapingURcomputer – WOW use that real quick and tell me its not crazy..
me: oh I don’t think so.
INURCOMPUTER: they are soooo right! lol what’s it saying for you?
me: cheese spoon banana!
INURCOMPUTER: plz u have to tell me, fill it out..I have to know if your results were as crazy as mine lol
me: no thanks
INURCOMPUTER: ur missing out these songs are HOTT!!!
me: go away little virus bot.
INURCOMPUTER: no problem! PEACE!!
INURCOMPUTER: hey, are you still there?
INURCOMPUTER: hey tiff, hope you had a great presidents day off yesterday!!
me: if I was one of them ‘merkins I might have.
me: how are you?
INURCOMPUTER: I want you to try something real quick
me:bong bing spam bam
INURCOMPUTER: okay tiff, take this quiz and see what you score.. I can’t get over like a 110, its ridiculous http://imnotreallyaquizhahaha.plep, sally scored like a 112 and I’ve been trying to beat them!!
me:what a cheeky little scammer you are
me:if I was a cheese what kind of cheese would I be?
INURCOMPUTER:lemme know what ya get plz
INURCOMPUTER: hey, I just scored 112 on My IQ test, this is supposed to be really accurate. Tell me what you get http://BRAINZTEST.US
INURCOMPUTER: hey there…
INURCOMPUTER: hey cutie
INURCOMPUTER: hey there…
URLs have been obfuscated for the protection of the innocent/idiotic.
I found my first ‘proper’ watch the other day, my grandparents bought it for me in Switzerland – so clearly, it is the most proper of proper watches.
It had a tatty burgundy leather-look plastic strap which was a bit of a disaster, so after a little poking around the intertubes, I bought a lovely plain 12mm Birkenstock with double loops and stainless steel bits and bobs. Sensibles.